Positive back up please I need it.

I'm so wasted.
I know that I've ranting alot about my awesomedrawingskillz lately but now, it's just really starting to get to me that I'm the biggest cheap-ass of an artist ever. Drawing takes alot of neat sense of fashion every now and then; but I just can't seem to let that "sense" out. Maybe I'm just a pessimistic git who worries too much on these shallow things but call me shallow if you like. This kinda means alot to me (pfft whatever) and for me, if I can't make any good clothes or whatever that comes under that category I feel like a failure. Well, in that aspect of my life at least.

I'm so wasted~~
I feel like burning all my test papers again. Damn I hate it.
I wanna be up there!! I don't wanna let people get in the way of that. I feel kinda insecure with something or someone and even though I keep saying the I'll do better next time, that insecurity always has its way of stopping my impossible dream.

I'm so wasted.
That I wanna hit my head on a hard brick wall or something. FML!
I kinda worry too much on things now. I'm in such a mess. I wanna turn myself off for awhile.

im in such a slump, i'm really worrying about things right now. It just keeps getting in to me. I can't help it. I feel so upset about what's happening in my school life and my awesomedrawingskillz life.

Alteast in my latter aspect of my life I have this quote that I hold on to and it atleast makes me feel if not better then just a little bit good.

"If God gives you something you can do, why in God's name wouldn't you do it?"
-Stephen King.

I really like that quote.

Unfortunately for my school life, I haven't found something that would make me feel better.
Sighhh~

I'm so depressed. I need something extreme that would take my mind off everything.

-Raichan-